Legal Writing Tip: Remote Relative Pronouns

According to Bryan Garner, a remote relative pronoun is a "prime indicator of a sloppy sentence." A relative pronoun such as that or which is "remote" when it doesn't appear immediately after the noun it modifies.

Garner provides these examples:

Defendants knowingly conspired to bring securities onto the market that could not be legally marketed.

There is an outstanding warrant against Mr. Erutu in Ethiopia, which on its face declares that he is to be arrested for expressing his political beliefs.

Sentences like these cause confusion in the reader. In every case, the sentence should be rewritten so that the relative pronoun follows the noun it modifies.

Source: The Winning Brief, by Bryan A. Garner.

Related post: "Self-Editing Tips for Legal Writers."

Comments

[Ron Miller]

Good advice. If you are going to break rules when writing - which I do all the time - at least pick spots where you are a being conversational. This is rule breaking and sounding more obtuse.